Who Decides We’re Behind?

Every week, someone in my Yoga Teacher Training apologizes.

“I’m behind.”

Every week, I give the same answer.

“You’re not behind.”

From the beginning of this program, every student receives an individualized learning plan. There isn’t one timeline. There isn’t a finish line everyone is racing toward. There isn’t a prize for finishing first.

And yet…

Almost every student apologizes.

I’ve started wondering why.

Maybe it’s because we’ve spent so much of our lives believing in invisible rules.

Rules no one ever writes down.

Rules like…

“Everyone else knows what they’re doing.”

“I should have this figured out by now.”

“If I’m not where someone else is, I’m behind.”

I think I notice invisible rules because I grew up learning new ones over and over again.

By the time I walked into ninth grade, I was attending the seventh school of my educational career.

In fifth grade alone, I attended three different schools—a public school, a Catholic school, and a Montessori school.

They weren’t just different schools.

They were different worlds.

Each had its own culture, expectations, language, and unwritten rules.

I remember sitting in class one day when the teacher said, “Turn to…” and then gave the chapter and verse.

Within seconds, I heard pages turning all around me.

Everyone seemed to know exactly what to do.

I froze.

I didn’t know what a chapter was.

I didn’t know what a verse was.

I didn’t even know where to begin.

It wasn’t because I couldn’t learn.

No one had ever taught me the rules everyone else assumed I already knew.

Looking back, I realize that moment wasn’t really about a Bible.

It was about what it feels like to believe you’re the only one who doesn’t know.

I wonder how often we carry that feeling with us into adulthood.

Maybe that’s why someone hesitates before walking into their first yoga class.

Maybe that’s why a student never raises a hand.

Maybe that’s why talented people talk themselves out of opportunities before they even begin.

Not because they aren’t capable.

Because they believe everyone else already knows the rules.

Or that everyone else is somehow ahead.

Maybe one of the most powerful invisible rules we’ve created is the belief that life has one timeline.

That if we’re not where someone else is by a certain age, stage, or season…

we’re behind.

But behind compared to whom?

Who decided there was only one path?

Or one pace?

Or one calendar for becoming who we’re meant to be?

At Rewyre_U, I’m becoming less interested in helping people keep up with everyone else.

I’m more interested in helping them understand themselves.

Because every person learns differently.

Every nervous system adapts differently.

Every life unfolds differently.

Maybe growth was never meant to happen on a shared calendar.

Maybe the goal isn’t to catch up.

Maybe the goal is simply to keep growing.

Starting the Conversation…

This week, I’m wondering:

Who decided we were behind?

I’d love to hear what invisible rules you’ve discovered in your own life.